Crazy days

Well you all know I was laid off from my job as a drug and alcohol counselor and of course I have been busy trying to find a new one. Its not as easy as it may look I am sure I could have a bunch of jobs by now but I taking my time and going after what I really want in a job and that is a supervisor position I was lucky today to find such a position and you bet your bottom dollar I applied for it but now its the weekend and I have to wait until Monday at the earliest to see if I get an interview. The best part is that it is a state job which pays much more then what I was making which in some aspects is good but in others not so good. It should be a lot easier to make these choices and actually gain from the experience


Finally a day worth wild

So today I got a call from a place I put in an application and had a phone interview luckly I got the job. Guess what that means my complete mood has changed I am still stressed and worried about bills being do right now but and excited that I got the job. The job has so much potential for me it is with a young company which is awesome decent money for working and its contract jobs. Doing mental health home services. Thinking the last couple of days about my situation i was frustrated because i did not understand why things were happening the way they were now I know why they were happening like this. God has blessed me once again and I owe everything to him it was Him who got this job for me and Him who was there for me to comfort me through all this crazy up and down roller coaster ride the past 2 weeks. Now just to get things aka bills straigthened out so that everything gets paid it may be a little late but it will get paid. As you may have guessed i am no longer depressed but not manic either i am somewhere inbetween the anxiety of not being able to pay bills right now is what is keeping me from going into my mania. Anxiety really can do a number on a person panic attacks are very really and nothing but scary at times because you have no control over your feelings you have to ride the wave so to speak. But as you can see even though I am on medication my moods still fluctuate a great deal. No one is going to be perfect but my medication helps me to stay in control sometimes better then others. I havent had a time that I have been out of control completely since I have been on my meds and I know the warning signs and how I feel when my medication needs to be adjusted.

Another day in depression

Well today is another day since I was laid off that I totally feel depressed but I didi the right thing for once I got my doctor appointment moved up instead of waiting hopefully they can figure out what needs to be adjusted or added anything to get me back to feeling right again. The ups and downs are crazy and I honestly feel like I am cycling faster then I ever have in my life. My guess is it proably isnt like I am thinking but who knows. On another note I was able and have been able to utilize my coping skills more and more lately I have been painting drawing and blogging here and on facebook more then I use too the only thing I havent used yet which I really should is my journal because it really does help me figure things out and keep my progress along the way. I am still looking for a job which is both my biggest fear and concern right now I wish that I could get the one I want and can finally have peace in that area so much stress lately I feel like I am just rambling along even in this post. Every day seems like an never ending day right now that just keeps going on and on and on. Will it ever end?

Losing a job

So I learned the hardest thing this past Monday that is that even with a job you can never trust anyone with your life. I was laid off from my job this past Monday after devoting myself for over 2 years and always looking for more things to introduce to my clients. My employer did not give me a specific reason for letting me go all that was said was ” It just isn’t working out anymore”. My major question is what isn’t working out first off, second what did I do wrong or lack that I need to improve for my next job? The response I received was well your clients know more about you then you know about them. Wait what that makes no sense My clients don not know anything about me because I don’t speak about myself in their sessions. Second my charts are up to date and correct and I see my client on a regular basis what am I doing wrong. Response: I can’t just pin point one thing lets just say its just not working out anymore. We have tried to give you subtle hints about the issues. Me: What you never once said anything about anything to me. At this point I just got up and walked away. I was and still am heart broken because I know I did not do anything wrong and even if I did I should have been told what I did and given a chance to correct it prior to being laid off. My employee record was clean I was always at work on time stayed late and often did much more then what was asked of me or required of me………..That being said, the next day I find out that my boss spoke about me to my co-workers trying to make it look like they were right and then turned around and told my clinical supervisor to notify me that he was going to give me a severance pay. Seriously feel guilty much that you got angry and fired one of your good employees and now feel guilty about it to the point where you are going to pay me 2 weeks pay as a way to make it up to me. Seriously I have never felt so cheated before in my life. I feel hurt because I put everything I had into this job and loved what I was doing and out of no where without warning it was taken from me all because the owner got mad about whatever he was mad about that day.

photo of a person carrying baskets
Photo by Gin Patin on

It feels like I was done an injustice by being laid off. Maybe it was just me and the way I see things but I was expecting more of a chance to correct something anything if I was doing it wrong or was not up to status quo. I mean I worked there for 2 years and now things are just not working out. I am pretty sure I do know what happened and why I was laid off which makes me even angrier if that is even possible.

See about a week ago I was meeting with a client who informed me that a employee that was the owner’s right hand man told them that the person they just moved into their room was caught stealing food and money etc. (this was unfounded and illegal to tell this other client due to HIPPA laws) I informed my supervisor of the incident and the right hand man was told that what he did was wrong and illegal. Then the right hand man decided to take it out on my client who told me by making him cut his pass short for his visit with his family that weekend (Retribution for telling on him). When Monday came around this client had told me what happened and also told a supervisor about the situation. This right hand man was informed again about retaliation by clinical and he knew that I was the one who started everything so of course he went to the owner who was angry about something totally different and fed him everything which in return ended up getting me laid off because the owner and I have never really seen eye to eye on things since I started there. Its very sad when you lose your job because another person is taking revenge out on you and the boss will listen and do whatever he says to do. Needless to say it does not stop me from being angry and wondering should I have just kept things to myself and if I had would I still have my job right now? Did I do my client justice by speaking up on his behalf (the one that was accused of stealing never did steal and was also my client).

What would you have done? Let me know voice your opinion comment I want to know what your think….

Take Care


Donating Plasma

Well today I chose to give plasma. This is the first time I have ever done this. I was in high school the last time I decided to give blood for a blood drive. I had a very good experience and was able to donate some plasma. The place I donated was at Interstate Blood Plasma Inc. 665 Carey Ave #1 Wilkes-Barre, Pa 18706. I walked in without any knowledge of what to expect other then knowing that I may get a few dollars for donating my plasma ($60.00 first time). The intake was easy and the nurses were friendly. I was able to talk to one of the head nurses at the facility her name was Maureen she was really, really nice took her time answering my questions and took extra time to talk to me when I had an issue during my donation. As we were talking I was able to tell her were I worked and we exchanged stories from our experiences working in the health care field. She mentioned to me that they were losing one or two of the nurses they had on staff within the next couple of weeks and were going to be short handed until they were able to fill the spots. They paid good and have some really good benefits but usually take students out of school and when they find a job in the area they want and or have the experience they need they leave. So I mentioned to her that I would mention on my blog that they are looking for nurses and if you are interested give Maureen a call at 570-855-4114 tell her you read my blog and are interested in applying for the job. Look we all know the stuff nurses put up with my mom was an LPN and I use to hear the stories she told about her clients of course she never mentioned names just the actions and consequences. Also If you want to see how the place is run before applying go on down and donate there is no harm in donating heck you might safe a persons life and besides your getting paid for it.


Take Care and Donate


Taking care of yourself

So we all know that at times we don’t really do what is best for ourselves. Sometimes we don’t look at things like others do and we do not think the same thing until after the fact. This entry will be discussing some serious things getting testing for HIV. If you didn’t already know they have tests for this that you can pick up at your locate CVS or Rite Aide store or any other drug store. They run about 50 dollars and better yet if you do not have the money there is a place that can help you get tested for free they are called “Caring Communities” they serve 12 counties in Pennsylvania Tioga, Bradford, Susquehanna, Wayne, Pike, Lackawanna, Wyoming, Sullivan, Luzerne, Columbia, Montour and Northumberland. They currently have 4 offices one in Wilkes-Barre, Hazleton, Bloomsburg and Towanda. They offer not just HIV testing but other STD testing as well20190723_154239.jpg

The best part is that not only can they test you for HIV there they can treat you as well. They have a program that is called ARTAS = Anti-Retroviral Treatment and Access to Services. It provides you with the support and treatment you need.

Some FYI information:

86% of people that are diagnosed with HIV that’s about 1 in 7 people were unaware of their infection

40% out of the 86% were engaged in treatment that’s less then half of the people diagnosed.

30% of the 40% in treatment are virally suppressed. This means only 3 out 10 people living with the virus we know as HIV have it under control.


Pennsylvania is the 10th highest of people infected with the virus HIV. Less then 41% of the population reports being tested. As of 2014 33,593 were diagnosed and living with HIV in Pennsylvania and another 1,170 were diagnosed in 2015. Research claims the highest categories for HIV in Pennsylvania are 1. Male to male sexual contact 2. Heterosexual contact 3. People who inject drugs.

More food for though if you and your partner slept with the exact same number of people here’s how it might play out:

3 people each=7

7 people each=127

12 people each=4,095

Pretty scary right?????…….

Okay so why am I posting about this well we ALL need to get tested on a regular basis who knows if we have come in contact with HIV or other STD’s the best way to find out is to get checked and know for sure….I’d rather know I have something then not know at all. Below is all the contact information to get a hold of someone at Caring Communities and get tested and spread the word we should depending on the field you work in or your daily life should be tested every 3 to 6 months.

Take care everyone and get tested


A day at the lake

So of course with the scorching temperatures reaching 110 to 115 with humidity in the upper 70% we decide to head to the lake or what my step son calls “the beach” In his defense it does have sand and there is water and lots of people lol. He has been to the real beach too and loves it he hunted and picked a thousand shells this past April in Ocean City Maryland.  But my boyfriend (Mike) and I along with my cousin and her boys decided to head to the lake this weekend to avoid the ridiculously hot humid weather we were experienced this past weekend here in Pennsylvania. So getting paid this weekend made it all the more fun to go. Friday night we went to the store and got everything from hotdogs to sun block and everything in between including beach toys for my step son (Anthony). Of course he just had to have them. lakejeananthonyAs for the rest of things they were consumed as normal. We had a blast to say the least Mike, Anthony and myself arrived first of course I am always early its just me. We got there around 10:30am. The boys had already been swimming for awhile when my cousin and her best friend came and we had already eaten our lunch as well. Of course just like any other nice cousin she went clear across the beach to a picnic table instead of the one I had next to the boat launch. So of course I Mike and I had to lug everything across the beach but don’t think she got away without helping carrying something because she ended up carrying the bottled water case lol. Mike ended up carrying Anthony because just like any other 4 year old he didn’t want to move and he had a tantrum. (We have gotten so use to them at this point we actually expect them now). So Anthony and my cousin’s youngest son became quick friends and played well the rest of the day.

logananthonylakejeanmikie logan and anthony

Yes Mike posed for a few pictures too! lol. By 4pm I was beat  and so was Mike from being out in the heat most of the day. We started gathering stuff up and getting stuff ready to go my cousin was disappointed to see us go as she had just gotten there only 4 hours ago but understood. We told her to stop by our house on her way back home that evening. As we were leaving Anthony and her youngest son got the brilliant idea to have a sleep over that night and of course I can’t say no to either one of them I mean look how cute they are lol I am a sucker for cuteness.  So of course he came with us to which really was a God sent because he was able to keep Anthony busy the rest of the evening and majority of the next day. They got along very well and I do believe this may have been Anthony’s first sleep over at least it was at our house which was really kind of special for him and Mike and I. We love having those special moments with him. So any way you may be wondering how this all ties into my bipolar disorder well it just so happens that this was an awesome day for me and it was a balanced day and may even be considered a mania day for me. No problems I had a lot of energy and was all smiles all day long but then again I was with family as well. So here are some more pictures from our day at the lake.




And of course we can’t forget the funniest picture Anthony trying to bury daddy in the sand………….

lakejeanmike and anthony

The lake  we visited was Lake Jean it is located in Pennsylvania on the back side of Ricketts Glenn State Park in Luzerne County. It is free to swim and it has rest rooms charcoal grills and picnic tables to use as well as pavilions that you can reserve. They open when the sun comes up and they close at dusk.

*Below are some pictures from the beach at Lake Jean.

Take Care,